HELLOOOOOO 2021!!! We are finally here!!! While 2020 may have been a slow blurr for everyone, it was a slow blurr for me in other ways.
In February, about 80 days post bone marrow transplant, I found out that my leukemia had returned for the 2nd time in 15 months. I was luckily deemed cancer free a month after doing more chemo treatments. But it was no walk in the park after that happened in March.
I lost 30 pounds and lots of muscle from chemo(loss of appetite + nausea + not wanting to leave the couch). I still had 3 more rounds of chemo after that, and I got a booster of cells from my original donor after my last round of chemo in late June. All of these rounds were outpatient, but they kicked my butt the most!
Two bone marrow biopsies later, I was deemed in FULL REMISSION in November.
Nothing will make you more anxious than awaiting test results. Nothing.
Anyways, our 2020’s looked similar from the outside: I had gone to only 2 restaurants, didn’t go to a single bar, no plane rides, and the list could go on and on.
But what’s different about my situation, is that I’ve been living like this for the majority of the past 25 months. Oh, and “the rest of the world” was living like normal(until the pandemic).
I’ve missed vacations that I’ve planned, weddings of my close friends and cousins, and countless other things where I’ve been the only one missing the event.
I’m not trying to make you feel bad for me, but just imagine all of your thoughts about “I can’t wait to do X again!” And multiply that by 20…
With that, I wanted to make a list of 21 things I can’t wait to do in 2021!
*I am not including traveling or going to restaurants/bars because those are just basic things that everyone else wants to do. And some of you have been doing both since summer. Sorry not sorry.*
Now, I have NO IDEA when I’ll be able to do even the most simple things(see #2), but this will be a bucket list that I will also celebrate my #smallwins.
21 Things I’m Looking
Forward to in 2021:
- HUGS. This will probably be the end of 2021 and the person will have to be vaccinated. I rarely hug my family members that I live with #thanksCOVID
- Sitting on a couch with a friend watching a movie and drinking wine. (Haven’t sat on a couch with a friend since early February 2020 when I was 80 days post transplant)
- Eating sushi!!! I’m not sure when my doctor will allow this… but I haven’t had sushi since I got diagnosed(not wanting to get food poisoning)
- Living on my own. At some point, I will be moving out of my parents house. I am excited to decorate, cook what I want, and watch Bravo without being made fun of every time it’s on (love you Dad!)
- Going back to work. I have only worked 4 weeks in the 25 months since being diagnosed. I miss having a schedule. I miss working with people. And I miss the paycheck lol.
- Getting stronger. I have mentioned that I lost a lot of muscle from chemo, and I am looking forward to getting stronger to play tennis, wakeboard this summer, and many other activities!
- Giving back. While I’m not announcing anything until March, I am VERY excited about a new opportunity. Stay tuned!
- Hosting get-togethers. I love hosting. I love bringing people together. I love having a good time. Haven’t been to a party since the night two of my best friends got engaged in August of 2019 – it was also the last night I was at a bar.
- Being in two of my best friend’s weddings!! I couldn’t love them more and I am honored to be standing by their side as they marry their other half.
- Connecting with more people! This will probably only be through social media for a while, but I would love to help connect more bone marrow transplant patients and survivors together.
- Reading more! I would love to aim for 35 books if I could get into audiobooks, but I’m a space cadet and can’t pay attention enough to remember what they’re talking about. So a goal of 20 should be good!
- Finding out more of who I am post cancer. This is an ongoing search. COVID has definitely slowed down and delayed this a lot.
- Sharing my passions with others! I love hearing about other people’s passions and seeing their faces light up as they talk about them! I hope to inspire people to share their passions and inspire others!
- Growing my blog! This goes with #10, but the main purpose of my blog is to help the bone marrow transplant and leukemia community. To make someone feel less alone as they are going through this journey.
- Live a happier and healthier lifestyle. Figuring out a good 80/20 or maybe 70/30 lifestyle and maintaining it.
- Continuing to grow my friendships and relationships with family. One part of the silver lining of my cancer journey is that I have grown closer with many people. I hope that I will still make this a priority all year long, and for the rest of my life!
- Dating. I feel like I have to put this in here somewhere even though I am nowhere close to being ready to date. I need more going on in my life. I need to be living on my own. And I need to figure out how to navigate how to tell my cancer story without scaring someone away lol. Also, I rarely see my friends, so I’m nowhere near ready to be spending time with a stranger. I’m probably very socially awkward – just facts!
- Planning more time for myself. Once you all start to live your “new normal”, I will start mine a few months later. As much as we all can’t wait to do the “roaring 20s”, let’s not get caught up in that and remember we can’t go from 0-100.
- Enjoying the smaller things in life! Sunsets, delicious food, movies, comfy shoes… you name it!
- A year without treatments!!! God I hope I am not jinxing this!!! A year without chemo. A year without awful bone marrow biopsies. Another year without a night in the hospital. I rang the chemo bell loud and clear. I. AM. DONE.
- This should go without saying it, but doing more things that will be fueling my soul! If you’re not actively trying to fuel your soul a little bit every day, then what are you doing?!
Cheers to 2021 and it being a new start for so many things!! I can’t wait to live it and share it with you all!!
Comment below on ways that you plan on #fuelingyoursoul in 2021! It can be serious or fun!
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